He is an equal opportunity slut.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
