I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
