Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We have so much sex to catch up on
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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