I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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