did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
