But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
