On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
