He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
