I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
