I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
