Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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