I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
