ugly people sure do ruin things
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
