I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He felt like a one man threesome
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize