Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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