I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
