it was like his penis was on wheels.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
