who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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