Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
