I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize