in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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