Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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