I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
