I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
