i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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