I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
