I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
