remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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