I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
