I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
