You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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