hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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