They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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