reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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