Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
