butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
