oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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