omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
