..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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