He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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