yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize