He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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