1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
