she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize