That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
