Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
