please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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