margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize