Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize