how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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