Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
