I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize