Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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