Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
