You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
