I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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