I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize